- In the weeks after my Mom passed, our Executive Director at work, was having to say goodbye to her father. I remember walking into her office to let her know I was there for her and to give her some comfort and support. I had all these things I wanted to tell her, but the only thing I could get out between the sobs was, “Be kind to yourself.” Four simple yet powerful words. These words were spoken to me often while my Mom was dying and they made all the difference in the world. I’m not one to give myself grace. I’m extremely hard on myself and I don’t know when to stop or slow down. It made me feel validated and if I’m being completely honest, I know those words saved me. I’m not quite sure where I would be if I wouldn’t have taken the time to grieve and deal with my emotions as they came. Being kind to yourself sounds so simple, but it’s far from easy when you have an extraordinary amount of pain in your heart. The impact grief has on your whole body-emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally-is substantial. It wasn’t always easy making myself a priority, while caring for Kona, and being a wife, but I did the best I could to give my body what it needed.I went for walks.
Took long baths or showers.
Went for drives.
Talked with family and friends.
Enjoyed time in the sun.
Painted my nails.
Went to group counseling.
Treated myself to coffee or lunches out.
Took time to be by myself.
Wrote in a journal.
Visited my Mom’s grave.
Prayed and prayed some more.For anyone who is losing a loved one or who recently has, I urge you to please be kind to yourself. Show yourself love, acceptance and grace. Please know you are amazing, what you are going through is trying and not meant to be fixed in a day, week or month. It will take time and please take all the time you need, for your heart is broken and your world is shattered.
You are in my heart and I’m sending you all my love and support.
Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Written by Erin Roberts